


Fate

by Maybedeadrats



Category: Lost
Genre: M/M, charlies death fucking killed me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:21:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24410497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maybedeadrats/pseuds/Maybedeadrats
Summary: But fate has it's ways, they'll never be together even if they wanted to.
Relationships: Desmond Hume & Charlie Pace, Desmond Hume/Charlie Pace
Kudos: 3





	Fate

Desmond saw particular foresighting moments in flashes. These flashes had to do with Charlie, and in a way it made Desmond ponder why he continued to keep on saving him. There was something about the way the blonde musician looked at him and turned to him like a lost puppy wherever he went nowadays. There wasn't a moment where Charlie would voluntarily be by himself, he had no issues leaving Claire's side if it meant his life was going to be saved. 

That didn't mean it didn't hurt- Claire was aware of Desmond's visions and kept her hopes for her island love up. She wasn't going to give up on him like how Charlie never in return gave up on her. Even when they went through their downs, such as Claire accusing him of using again and as a result not wanting Charlie anywhere near her baby. It felt like Hell waiting for her to come around, his trust everyday was being lost a little more due to the actions he'd do in his sleep, like the sleepwalking which involved taking Aaron. Their sudden contact after the distance surprised Charlie, Claire grabbed at his hand but he didn't hesitate to hold it back. Their first kiss was shared not long afterwards. 

But soon enough Charlie found his feelings for Claire being replaced by a sudden new curiosity and interest in the Scottish male. He remembered the night he got drunk off Whiskey that was stolen from Sawyer's stash. That also happened to be the night where Desmond opened up to Charlie about his flashes, and how they weren't supposed to be with the intent of saving Claire, but saving Charlie's life. He explained thoroughly how he could've drowned and got stroke by thunder, Charlie already having a bad experience with dying before and hearing this not making it any better. Hearing the words that fate had it for him to die made the rocker depressed for days. He couldn't enjoy anything, not even Claire who was the love of his life. At least she knew now, it was better she knew then continuing to get upset at Charlie for his sullen attitude that contrasted from his usual optimistic one. His blue eyes that were full of life, his toothy smiles.. Desmond was doing everything he could to save Charlie, but fate always made it's way around. Eventually he was going to die and there was nothing Desmond could do about it. The thought made his chest tighten and his gaze fall on the blonde once more, not wanting to lose him yet. Not quite yet. 

It was times like those where having psychic abilities sucked. He had been on this island for years and now for the first time he was starting to finally understand his purpose there. He drove himself insane fulfilling that purpose, pushing the button every 108 minutes takes a toll on your mentality. But yet Desmond still did it, he was doing better then when he showed up back on his boat, drunk with the comfort of the bottle in his hand. He wanted to go back, he tried to go back to the proposal he had in mind for Penny and even then he couldn't go through with it. 

Desmond left his guilt behind in his old life. He missed Penny so much that everything ached. These feelings of hurt wouldn't stop until he was reunited with her again. He regretted what he did and the only reason he did the race was to prove to her father he would be a good enough man for her. The night he clutched onto their photograph under the stars made his heartbreak as he longed to see her more but made his heart slowly repair itself, knowing he was going to be reunited with her real soon. One of his flashes showed them getting rescued, at the expense of Charlie getting killed. It was the times where they'd get rescued where Charlie seemed to die. Why did that have to be the case? 

Desmond could swear he felt more guilty when he saw Charlie sit next to him that night, giving him those comforting eyes and conversation. If only he knew. 

Charlie found out about Penny that night. He found out about how much she meant to him, how she was his world. He found out about how Desmond was a coward and couldn't go through proposing to her. He found out that night how much he regretted it in the long run. He found out how badly he longed for her back, with regret and guilt mixing like paint he needed her more than ever. That was the night where he experienced the familiar jealousy he once had around Claire when anyone showed a threateningly close interest or closeness. Except now it was for Desmond. He adored Des for all the saving he did, he saved his life on a few occasions with the downside being now he was afraid he could die at any time. But he liked Desmond a lot, more than he should have. And because of that, he was willing to do anything for him. 

Charlie couldn't relate much to that aspect of love, the love of his life however was on this island. Before, his only real love was heroin. His brother was the reason why he fell into that hole of addiction, he started off abusing the drug first and it wasn't long before Charlie felt comfort in it. It gave him that warm comforting feeling that he believed he couldn't have without it. Heroin made him creative too, able to play his piano and strum his guitars with messy ideas flooding his mind. He'd pluck his bass in studio and at gigs, feeling in the other reality with the music. But he also used the drug too to keep him normal, he knew he was an addict when he needed the drug to keep himself functioning sanely. He was so badly addicted that he couldn't go a plane ride without using, that said something. Before in his band he'd have hookups with girls, whether they were fans or not. The lifestyle wore down on him and he was intending on quitting, but couldn't. They already signed a deal before they could. On another occasion where he wanted to quit, their song landed a place on the radio. It was an exciting moment for the band as a whole, hearing your own composition playing for tons of people to ear was an exciting moment. Not only that but knowing that was the hit that was going to get you noticed and with fans, and knowing after that you were going to be a Rockstar. 

Charlie could remember when he wanted that life- he knew he was born to do something big, something musical. It wasn't until you actually lived it that you'd see what a pest being in that lifestyle was. But at the same time, his heart was set on bringing the band back together. He visited his older brother front man, asking, practically begging for a reunion. His life was clean at this point and he noticed the harm in Charlie's life that the music exposure and drugs took on him, wanting him to get help the same way he did. He wanted him to have that second shot he did and the second shot unfortunately not many people got. In that moment, that wasn't what he cared about- he fell in too late.

The Rockstar tried his best to comfort him after hearing Des proclaim himself as a coward. He at the time didn't think he was supposed to die, he thought they finally were going to be rescued, being one of the reasons he tagged along. Charlie brought his acoustic guitar over by Desmond after their deeper conversation died out a little, plucking the strings that blended into a pretty melody with the night sky. Their bodies were sitting close together, Desmond's eyes falling on Charlie who's head was faced down at his instrument, neck bending and fingers seeming to finger pick some chords. He hummed along the tune, Desmond unsure of what he was playing but nonetheless liking it. 

When the music drifted out into the air of the night, Charlie's neck snapped back up and turned over to Desmond's face, glancing at his wonderful features. A blush he hoped was unnoticeable to see due to the night sky appeared on his light face, along with a grin after the melody he played. The other male met his gaze and smiled, admiring what he just played and not aloud admitting the tune helped settle the unwanted sad tension he felt towards Penny and the photograph he kept of her. Charlie's head sheepishly sunk back down and one hand played with the sand they were close around, fingers rubbing against the thin pebbles. Desmond didn't know why he did it but his arm wrapped around his neck and it resulted in Charlie setting his guitar down to move closer into him.

Desmond's skin hit the blonde hair Charlie contained, the blonde hair that was growing out against his neck. Charlie's smaller figure shifted closer to him, he smiled one of his bright toothy smiles and Desmond then knew he couldn't proceed with letting him die. But still he knew this was the only way they were to be rescued according to his flashes into the future. 

From the back of his mind Des knew the fire was lit but Hugo was too into whatever he was talking about with Jin to notice their closeness. Plus, he doubted either of them would think much of it. Those two seemed to be telling stories and enjoying the reactions of each by doing so, Charlie seemed to be enjoying himself too before he made his way over to Desmond's more secluded spot where he treasured and sulked over what once was. Because of them not paying attention, Desmond let their eyes meet again, his hazel eyes meeting with the lifeful blue eyes the Brit had. It was a moment that gave Desmond a questionable feeling, while Charlie felt all gushy inside. Could it be?

He decided to initiate a move by moving his body closer, eventually getting so close that his head would feel more comfortable lying on his shoulder at this point. Charlie did, he let it fall on his shoulder as Desmond's arm still stayed wrapped closely around them. His brown curly hair hit Charlie's head and tickled his soft skin. 

"You play good, brother." Desmond admitted, staring down into his light blue eyes, feeling this exploding warm feeling erupt in his stomach just staring at them.

"Thanks mate," Charlie seemed proud hearing the compliment, he surely liked receiving them. "Been playing for years, that can explain."

Between the both of them, they wanted something to happen. Desmond's fingers massaged the sides of Charlie's arm, Charlie humming in content to the feeling. He was precious, the regrets will never stop piling in his head for what he was going to do. He was childlike, fragile and could be immature at times, but he had a sweet heart that beat for the ones he loved. Desmond could just see the way he admired Claire, looking at her like she was the only thing in this world that mattered to him. In a way, Desmond wanted to know what it was like for Charlie to look at him in that way. Maybe he was giving him his desired glance then, because their eyes were chained and both their breathing were growing more obvious. 

Charlie looked nervous, but wasn't going to stop this moment. Nothing could get between them then. The photograph was forgotten about when Des looked at Charlie, he was able to feel the speedy pulse coming from his arm. 

"Dezzie?" He softly spoke, Des about to answer but before anything else could happen, the sounds of a helicopter crashing into the bright clear waters made them shift apart and put their total attention to the sight. 

Desmond's heart was setting on leaving right there and then, they had to go out and explore according to his visions. But of course Charlie didn't want to go, wanting it to be dawn before they head out. His paranoia of dying crept in and Des was able to tell that was the case, the musician didn't mind being left alone or heading back to camp, as long as he didn't go into the spontaneous jungle with the other 3. He agreed to leave in a few hours when it got light and took the time then to get as much sleep as possible, or at least some shut eye to keep him awake for the later hours. 

Finally the sun came up and the four all made their way into the mysterious jungle. The mysterious jungle that was full of many surprises and questions since Charlie got on this island. Tension however built up between him and Desmond once they walked further into the island, the musician complaining that he felt like he was not receiving enough information. He felt like Desmond was holding back something from him, that there was something in the flashes he didn't know about. This didn't stop Charlie from returning back to his usual self, once finding the belongings that fell from the helicopter Desmond's heart began to race- he felt eager to find Penny now, because he knew it was her. He felt frustrated because he needed these events to happen pracisely, if they didn't happen as they were in the flashes he wouldn't be with his love. Was he willing to give up Charlie?

Why would he have an issue giving him up? He barely knew Charlie.. Who was he kidding, even if they didn't know each other for long on this island everyone knew each other. Everyone was always together, it was more of a survial bond kind of thing but yet everyone feels like they knew each other forever. It was odd how quick you can open up on the island, maybe it was because everyone wanted to survive and had all these questions in their head, therefore turning to each other helped. But at the end of the day, they were living together and dying alone, just as it always was on there. 

Charlie on the other hand was starting to feel something strong for Desmond. Despite the slight disettlement they both reached Charlie didn't let that change the way he felt about him. Just hours prior they shared a warm moment, as he played his six-string and turned affectionate toward the bearded man. He felt something powerful abrupt in his stomach, a feeling that he felt guilty for having because he had Claire and loved her, maybe more than she loved him but it felt so right too. It had the rightness that Charlie felt when he was writing songs and playing with Driveshaft- of course they fell into the loop of drugs and all that comes in the way with it, but for music reasons they felt right together. Charlie was beginning to feel this rightness again with him.

What hurt was he felt strongly for him now but yet Desmond still wanted to get him sacrificed. It wasn't until he was searching for the body that landed out of the helicopter that he noticed the memory in his flashes starting to feel awfully close to approaching. As every ticking second dropped Charlie's unpleasant fate grew closer. He was sure this was what he wanted. He was sure, yes, he had to make this sacrifice in order to be reunited with his past love. He had to go before he was too late, she had to be hurt by now. 

It wasn't until the last possible second that Desmond stopped the course of death from taking it's turn. Charlie's foot pressed on the trap that was supposed to kill him and thought nothing of it, but once Desmond yelled at him to get out of the way it all changed. Desmond's stronger body pushes him to the magical grounds of the jungle, Charlie's once bright eyes filling with anger at the realization he tied in together in his mind. A frown drifted to his face and he couldn't be thankful at that moment for the other saving him... all he could think is how he was almost killed.

He couldn't believe Desmond, yeah he was able to understanding wanting to be with Penny again but the jealousy and the fear for his life erupted as he tried to act strong and not let his displeased emotions show on his face. He was jealous that Desmond loved Penelope so much he was willing to let him die just so he can be with her again. He should've known by the way he sadly gazed at that photograph and the way he ached to fix his mistakes he made with her. Saving his life was just saving his life, he was becoming tiring and stressful with having to save his life with every flash that flew behind his hazel-colored eyes. 

Desmond, who still remained on Charlie's angry figure couldn't be any more confused yet sorry, confused yet glad he decided not to go along with his flash. He never wanted to let him go, his heart twinged seeing the transparent anger flow through the rockstar. When the group of four split up into two Charlie finally took this time to ask what the hell was up with almost letting him die. 

"I'm sorry, brother," Desmond ideally should've said, "I had to follow the flashes, but I'll never let it happen again." And ideally he could've hugged and comforted his angry swelling body then, but instead he hid those could'ves and those true urges and feelings deep down his throat, turning it around and expressing pure frustration. 

Pure frustration that he went ahead and stopped this meant to be fate to save Charlie, with the expense of losing Penny. Why did he do that? Why did he keep saving Charlie's life so many times? It was the new question and thought that kept him up, the new wonder that wouldn't leave him alone until he did something about it. But it meant nothing he was sure, he was positive this was a test... How could he let go of the person who gave him drive to keep on going to rescue someone he felt nothing for? 

Charlie would never say a word about it but he felt heartbroken hearing Desmond refer to him as just a test. His heart broke when he knew Desmond gave up seeing the love of his life again just to save him, he felt like a burden on his shoulders then. But Charlie being Charlie was convinced there was something more, it had to be the reason behind Desmond continuously saving him and doing everything in his power to keep him here. Even if he was getting tired and overwhelmed with the task for some reason he kept on doing it. The day where he couldn't stop the nature of fate was going to be a painful one. 

Desmond couldn't understand these thoughts and Charlie didn't want to bring them up. They didn't even have time to think about feelings, they had to focus on Naomi and figuring out what to do with her. 

Certainly they couldn't tell Jack, lately they've been questioning their trust for him. Sure he was the surgeon on the island and all but they could take care of her for now, she was their ticket off this island. If they could fix her phone and call in her team, then they'll be rescued. Was there a signal even? 

Everything seemed normal until Desmond had another flash. Another flash that killed him to have to tell Charlie. It was the flash that will proclaim him as a hero, but yet he would have to sacrifice himself in order to save everyone. 

Desmond told Charlie that he saw Claire and Aaron (or turnip head as he called him) getting into a helicopter and fleeing to safety of the island they were stuck at for months. Charlie knew then he had to do it, even if it meant he died in the midst. Heroically he agreed and started writing a list of the five greatest things that ever happened to him. 

Ideally, Claire was supposed to be number one. And she was. He jotted her name on the paper there. But when he looked over at Desmond... He wished he intended it to him instead. 

How great if they got to know each other better or meet in different circumstances. But fate had it's ways, and they'll never be together even if they wanted to. Charlie had to sacrifice himself for the good of the island. 

In a way, it was meant he was saved all those other times. Because he was the only one who could turn that switch now, he was the only one who knew music and would be able to enter the code that was Sweet Vibrations.

His unlucky fate crashed upon him as a grenade blew up the room, resulting in immediate flooding with no time to lose. Penny told him after the signals were able to be received again that she went no boat, and had no recollection of Naomi. His heart hurt seeing Des jam the door, trying to bust the door down to talk to Penelope and possibly be able to save Charlie (even though that wasn't meant to happen). 

The door was secured shut and as water flooded the cramped space he was in, Charlie managed to scribble Not Penny's Boat on his hand, looking up at Desmond afterwards. This message was meant to scream Naomi is not who she says she is, and to warn the rest of the camp about this as they are being mislead. 

As his last moments of the his life were ticking before his eyes Charlie decided to do something he never planned on doing. 

He scribbled with his opposite hand due to the marker residue on his other a scribbly I, with a heart, and a shaky you. He put his hand against the glass and Desmond could understand.


End file.
